"Once we realize that nothing good that comes from us is not personal, but everything good from us is, then, we can start living; we understand that the Devil is pitted against God, and that we are one with Him, means that we are also attacked, so self-committed offenses are actually a violation to the true personal nature of wanting to do good to others and to be treated the same.

What do you think of this statement?

My Life, as the title of this blog implies

It's been crazy so far. For the most part, I don't know what to say, since it's been so out-of-the-ordinary. Yes, in fact I do feel different. But I have to say that I did feel like a part of this world at one time. I felt like the world was bigger than me and the people around me I could connect to.
But now, it's hard to find the ground on which I can stand and meet other people. It's hard to be on the same page. It's hard to see that my thinking is the same others are thinking. In an attempt to save a life, I lose it. In an effort to keep it, I lose it. Indeed it is crazy, because we think going to church, going to fellowship, and thinking about God, or even acknowleding Him makes Him real, but He's not real until we realize that we don't actually know God, that we can't fully know Him at the most. We have an idea, we know some words that characterize Him, but it's all code.
It's all a way for us to be comfortable with feeling secure. Isn't it? Well, it's a hard thing to challenge your own beliefs, but you have to, otherwise, you might really wander into the darkness or fall into the pit of doom. Seriously, in the pit, there is just darkness, clear sights of evil, and doom.
What are people working for. It beheeves me to consider that they have no idea. That they just go with the system, the flow; they comform to what everyone else is doing, because it looks stable, it seems right. But that's just the opposite of how they feel sometimes. It feels like it's not right, it feels wrong. It feels like they are lost, that they have no sense of objective, that they are being pushed around, or judged for things they didn't want in the first place. Well, I may subconciously be saying these things out loud, as a reflection of self, but I mean it. Doesn't this world feel like a repetition of old things? Don't you observe the way people behave, or how they justify their actions? It feels like a movie, it feels like a universe of clashing clones.
Somehow, we just envelop each other, or we bounce off of each other with postive and negative energy - not thinking much.
Is this sanity to you? Or is this a melting pot we are swirling in?

Testimony - Written by Stephanie Har

Again, I cry to you to implore you to believe. Weep, please mourn. You have to repent.
The kingdom of God is glory-full. Milk and honey overflow.
Glory is God's.

This is not my story, but God's love in my life.
How I am like dust, like vapor, and like a fading flower.

Those are beautiful things.

God's breath of life in my body is a beautiful thing.
How there is only one truth, only ONE, is sad.

In it, we are lost.
In it, we seek out falsehood. We believe lies.
We give into false "truths."
We give in too easily, too fondly, too blindly, and too bad.

We can't possibly know unless God shows Himself. We're too accustomed to the dark.
The light is blinding.

Capture the Audience - written by Stephanie Har

Words are never enough,
Passion's always setting the world on fire,
Jealousy - a deep poisonous puddle,
What I cannot describe, I'll say it with my heart,
There's a love out there who is God himself

I want to be more than I am,
I want to kill, because I rage in my heart,
I want more than I can take,
It's gonna be what breaks me

Capture the audience,
Fill in the void,
Living is losing,
Cry out for my help (x2)

I'm always here, bleed for me,
Take my heart, and I will heal yours

Enduring the Fight - written by Stephanie Har

We are mighty warriors, we are we outside, we are with our light,

We are with out the might, we are without the sight of life.

We are with might, we are merely in flight, we are merely in life, we are merely in light,

we are mighty in fight, we are never in sight, we are lifters of light, we are lifters of night,

We are weavers of light, we are weavers of fight, we glisten with fight, we lighten with strength,

we strengthen with light,

We strengthen with sight, we might win this night,

We might win this fight,

We might see the light, we might see the sight, we might win the night.

Fault

If you can't find the reason to hate sin, then you're not in the place to hate God. If you realize the depths of your sins and say, "As if I chose to be a sinner," and then say, "Well, at least there is hope," then take your anger out on sin, and don't use it as an excuse to sin more. If you keep sinning, then your motive is not good, and you can't blame God for your pitfalls in life. That's the end of the explanation.

Proving You're Right

I want to know where your anger goes. Why do you fight others, in order to prove you're right? It must be pride. It must be my pride, that is sinful. That is something I need to rid myself of. "Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing." [from book "The Greatest Thing in the World," by Henry Drummond].

The Forrest We Weather, written by Stephanie Har

For Kings, we are fingers with flight, we weather we are forever we are for everything.
Ten years again, we throw away the garbage collected in the corner of our warehouse,
the filthy gas in the decent basement is sour with lice-infestations.
ten years again, we bellow in the hollow of a tree because we can,
we fight the war of death, to the very silk of nature,
the churning, of what we do not fill,
what miserable waiting time for the airplane who declines into the vastness of the mirror,
the streets marked with pain, and the tormenting sound,
the wallowing and bent-over men of children,
old-fashioned, groom without a bride,
hair from heathens,
Wretched sinner,
Emboldened are the ones who find favor and pleasure with the king;
but where are we?
Twenty years ago, we left the states to see the son,
Without a trace, we left the silence behind me,
we ran until we saw wood,
we trampled into the flood,
we strangled our own neighbor,
we fought with such pursuit,
we also almost laid out our feeding dog,
Among the lads of the field, we saw one who was fair, enough to see the light of day,
the one who fought with light,
there was none beside him,
he who fought so valiantly,
we saw his might, his strength and will,
to the rise of the kingdom, we lowered our heads, with reverence we beheld light,
we did not see as we ought to bring his sacrifice, so we lifted his head with old grills,
in the hope that we would be also saved, from the mighty warrior enemy.
Behold, there was a vast kingdom from where we stood, not far from the place of light,
we held his fire like the watchmen waiting on the wall for the morning,
we let the sun take me into darkness for there I could see the morning better,
we could also see the monday dew, from where I was, there the rain stood, open, free, and pounding against my head, and my height was much lower,
There I was, with silent murmurings of voices, whispers of violent, raging seas ahead amid light,
and were not the congregation left blinded by the fright of eve,
for they did no harm.
Today, there are masters who lift their servants with light, the ones who serve faithfully with fight,
we are not mortal beings humanly, but light,
we do not exist on account of men, but on the very single reason that victories for us are won,
for the little sheep, help is no where but just here fervently sitting on like the fire of winning men,
we fervently wait with thanksgiving in heart, mind, and soul. We wait, not wander far.
We wait, we wait, we wander, far, but never to never return,
we well-off are fighting like fervent, life-like, fervent, versus fervent fire verses ourselves. We light like far weather,
into the forrest of inventions.
Who are we, to be givers of life?

Injustice

I still try. I still do my best even if I know I'm not first.
I run for the prize.

Perfect is not having my life in order. It's loving as Jesus did, even if that means w/ a broken heart.
And I'm sad and weak. At least I try to love. I try to gain strength. I try to run the race w/ all that I am.

Sharing Verses About Stewardship

This past Thursday, InterVarsity had large group: We learned about being wise with using TIME:
Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Academics Read Colossians 3:23, Ephesians 6:6, and Proverbs 16:13
Body Read Romans 12:1, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Rest Read Genesis 2:2-3, Exodus 20:8-10, Matthew 8:24
Fellowship Read John 15:12-15
God Read Luke 10:38-4

A relationship with God - knowing my King - is the best. Believe in Him, and not just know about His characteristics. When you reflect on your life, ask yourself if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior: Then ask yourself if you believe in the power of His death and resurrection, how He has cleansed your sins forever.
If not, take time to sit alone. Remove yourself from noise, people, and any distraction - TAKE AN HONEST LOOK AT YOURSELF.
What do you see? Who do you see? What is the condition of your heart? How is your mind reacting? Why is it acting this way? Why is it hard to sit still? Lift them up - LET GOD TAKE YOUR BURDENS.
Sit still - quiet your heart, and let the Holy Spirit speak to it! Rest assured that Jesus' life and death and resurrection is a real event in history and its power remains relevant to TODAY, your very life!

Of Course

A relationship with God is not about being perfect. It's not about living up to His expectations. It's about walking with Him. Then, of course, time is really non-existent, because we live eternally when we abide in Jesus Christ.

Up Late for a Reason

First, I can't withhold good from another person.
Second, I've been cleaning, tidying, and organizing all day, but when it comes down to going to sleep, I must examine my heart.
This time, I'm pretty sure I want to disclose some things:
I renounced God (not the existence of Him, but His authority over my life) about a year ago, maybe two. I was bitter and angry at Him for keeping me His slave. At the time, I felt friendless, lonely, and both misunderstood and not understood.
Over the following weeks, that extended through months, I lived in darkness. It was not only terrifying, but also like fire, burning everything unnecessary until all that remained was God again. I felt God watching me from afar, but by His grace, He gradually brought me back into light.
There is no doubt in my mind that the things I went through in darkness completely drained me. Therefore, I became weak, tired all the time, and everything was all too much for me to micro-manage anymore.
Now, this very moment, I ask that if you are a brother or sister in Christ, that you would pray for me to surrender all I am to God, again, because I feel like there are areas in my heart that refuse to be vulnerable to God again, even though, I'm sure, God can see those parts. If those areas I refuse to give up are wounds, I ask that you can intercede so that God can heal me and make me strong, so that I can serve Him, again (I thank you, in advance, if you pray for me!).

O ^ O'

Hm, I have an urge to splurge, right now.
About how another semester at Rutgers is quickly, quickly, RAPIDLY approaching. On one hand, I'm excited; on the other, I am worried.

Unique - Like the Plants

My family went on a short road trip last week. We took a ferry to Delaware and drove up to Longwood Garden. There, God revealed His wonderful creations, all kinds of flowers, plants, and creatures. Comfort, by reassuring me that just like these vegetation humans are made individually special, was the first relief God gave me. As time progressed, throughout the entire family reunion in fact, I knew God was working in me to both redeem and restore me.

Many people likely wonder what happens to someone that makes them who they are. They notice a change in behavior, or a difference in ethics.

For me, my journey consists of constantly making sure I am honest with myself - if I am not, it will inevitably show, in others, in me, in my circumstances... One thing I have been wrestling with is this idea that Christians are one type, in that we must live by strict regulations, abide by certain laws, or continuously monitor ourselves for poor attitudes, behaviors, etc. As a kid I thought that I had to be someone I was not - I tried to modify my acts based on what I thought was good in my parents' eyes.
To a degree, their expectations for me to live with excellent morals was not bad, but I realized that trying to fit into an image was not only exhausting, but not right. It didn't feel good to separate myself from what I wanted to do, because I ended up not enjoying or living life the way God intends me to live.

Going through this process of thinking that being a rose is better than being a lily is something we can understand. Maybe because one gets more appreciation, or attention, than the other. Therefore, we assume that it is better, or higher. Walking through the Longwood Garden reassured in me that everything is made beautiful in His time, that we don't have to strive. We just have to be.

I see now how we are like flowers, as a growing woman. Right before my eyes, God adorns my heart, makes it strong, and makes it resilient. There is nothing to add, nothing to take away from - just be. 

Morning is Sweet - written by Stephanie Har

Ripple tides come in:
crash of white, sparkling storm along the shore,

the sweet moving of my head to catch the rays,
neck as a dinosaur - who is he?

Waking Up - written by Stephanie Har

Waking Up,
Sucking the poison out of my blood,
Arising... slowly,

My mission is complete,
the whole world can rest,
Let the lady twirl,

Sprinkle some water,
My veil brushes past my face,
And I look back,

Eyes wide open,
Yawning into a smile,
Feel the sun beam from you

The Lullaby - written by Stephanie Har

the owl hoots at night,
it takes time to accept everything,
i throw my fist in the air,
and the sands hop on the gravel,

oil drips on the side of the vinyl,
raindrops in a clear puddle,
serene mountains and the smell of pine,
honeycomb twisted on the honeycomb stick,

a bag of skittles opened to bits of color,
i feel the plug of a cry,
sated are my senses,
dry and shriveled like a desert twig,

when i hear the sound of music,
my heart is stimulated,
but my face is drooping,
like the wax that is melting from the tip of a flame,

"help me," i say,
only musty, sweet, and tearful memories awake,
if i give you my heart,
can you never leave me,

a plastic piano with Starbursts,
coral lipsticks and a wrinkled white face,
giving a gift is better,
because its present fragrance is still pleasing,

how lovely are the quiet things,
in life, they move gracefully and majestically,
like a beautiful woman,
mesmerizing, captivating, and breathtaking,

her treasures are more valuable than pearls,
she is a crown,
the black crow cannot break through her forcefield,
for in the grey sky is a rainbow,

let the leaves come and go,
let the colors of my heart be radiant,
a magnet for the pollens,
the dandy and the light-hearted

Testimony

Holding onto God is probably the best things I've done so far, aside from the fact that God's holding onto me far more securely. That's probably my testimony in a nutshell.

Basically, we all wander from the truth and we get enticed by things that seem promising to fulfill our curiosity. In the end, we pay the price, we suffer through some pretty painful times that always reveals God as the only way, the only truth, and the only life.

God's mercy and forgiveness

There's nothing that beats the sweet-as-honey welcome home as God's open arms that have been waiting for you to come back. Scenery is fresh, white cotton-plants abundant across the field wavering by the gentle breeze.
Back and forth, swaying like the motion in our body when we become mesmerized by God's beauty. Not only that, but we are soothed by the strong, protective arms of our Father, who will never forsake us. Nothing beats the refresh of rest when we breathe deeply without a care in the world, because we are lying on the ground, eyes closed, at the feet of our Father who handles all things when we are too weak to rise. He cares, and He loves us. We are blessed to know God's mercy and forgiveness; without them, we are not free to love, heal, and give.

basileia 2012

Welcome to a new life. Welcome. <3

Nullification

I learned that God places people in your life and puts you in certain circumstances in order to humble you. You have to know that God loves you and will do everything to keep you.

My hope for in the future is to live amongst each other with our vertical relationship dictating our moves in our horizontal relationships. That way, we prevent from falling, and we are presented to God as blameless and pure; that our relationship with God would be so intimate that we would not even think that we're crazy, but that we're living in the absolute Truth (with a capital 'T') without shame, but with pervasive hope. 

OUR GENERATION.

Why are you going to college? What drives you to get an education?

Today, in class, our professor addressed the prevailing truth that applies to every generation - we are the next to lead this nation. We are in control of what values, or morals, we want our society to project.

Teenagers may sink back in their seats, but nothing and everything will change for them. They will just be part of a problem - one of complacency - that is debilitating the nation, as a whole. I'm not here to lecture our generation, but I am here to say: Get off the ground, LEARN, try, and never stop. We may be in the infant stage of our generation, but we are the most powerful age group in our time.

Stop trying to be more than you are, but just be who you are made to be, like a flower can only be a flower. Don't add on miscellaneous accessories that do nothing for you or society. "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial."

Be the person you want to see the change happen in this world, because no one else has that UNIQUE perspective as the one you currently possess. Follow the orders of God; do not forsake the teachings of the authority, put on your armor, and move forward.

Heart-to-Heart

Remember God's grace is sufficient..


"Who is the King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
The LORD mighty in battle."
Psalm 24:8

Pininterest

Hey. How did I not find out about Pininterest? It is so chique. I'm excited about this site, because it pools together, and brings to the spotlight, interesting, unique, and awesome discoveries! :)

Having the Heart to Hear

Okay. I recognize that I have problems, as I'm sure we all do! I have problems believing. I know we were told many different, various things when we were little. Lies, and truths alike, that were constantly being tested.
My problem is the problem of believing, because I can't skip! I can't step on invisible steps without being dizzy. The world of Christianity is full of these steps. One may only feel dislocated, burdened, and, yet, detached from everything this world would offer. I'm starting to believe in the truth, though, that we only find our self mad when we compare how we are living to the world, instead of how Jesus walked the planet. How could we be so insecure?
Problems we all face is the urge to be bigger.
We want more than we have; at times, we believe we deserve more, we have what it takes to gain more!
Constantly, we go hungry. Incessantly, we long to be satiated! And time and time again, we become impatient.
We wander. Searching, searching, and looking for things to substitute our needs.
Don't you get angry? Don't we all grow weary? We do. Still, the excuses, the pride, the jealousy, the hate, the rage, the anguish... the pain, and suffering, of the soul is enough to throw us off the cliff! For all the joy, the happiness, and the luxury of knowing, and experiencing, the gifts of God, we fall on our knees begging for more. When will it end? Still, silence follows, the people around you are moving; or, your room is still dark.
I want to know what your solution is: Please, respond to this post!

The Deliverance

Appearances are deceiving

They take me away from your truth.

I want to be known by you

I want to be touched by you

I want to be loved by you, oh God.

I want to be real like you

I want to be made anew,

Bring me back to your promises, Lord.

When the oceans sway, I have lost my way,

How can I serve You Lord?

We need you, Lord, every waking moment,

Every hour that we sleep.

Not Animalian

Many people might believe that they are just animalian at the core; that without civil constraint, they will always fall back on a much more barbaric nature. But, in reality, people do not have to see life that way. People may be skeptical of achieving idealism in a sector of their life, but the truth is that every person wants the same conditions as every one else: harmony, peace, understanding, and compassion. The central idea, here, is community. Humans need community, because without it, humans are lost.

Urban regeneration is pulling up roots, inevitably, wreaking internal havoc in the sense that the physical displacement of ethnic groups is causing confusion and disorder. Personal identities are a haze and various symptoms that arise from such an unknown are infecting fear, insecurity, and anxiety in American homes thought to be well established. Richard Sennett and Jonathan Cobb, in a trite passage titled The Hidden Injuries of Class, demonstrate this lack of acceptance of a “lower” working class. One may strongly agree, though, that this tension between the laboring, manual workers and the New Class is the fuel that drives the economy forward, making progress, at least in terms of creating new products. However, in many of the readings that were assigned in the class Introduction to Planning, Policy, and Public Health, the social evil of blaming others, or a small group of people, for the cancerous problem that it has become is evident, still, in this reading. The interviewers, the interviewees, the compartments of social class, that’s boundaries are melting away in the midst of technology today, are all, collectively, accountable for each other. People hope, largely encouraged by capitalism, that their evils will be buried in the masses, but that their hard work will earn them accolade. However, they are greatly disillusioned by magic if they think that problems can disappear without true reconciliation. The problem is passed along, whether it is between classes or between generations, and they usually accumulate more noticeably in the oppressed. The Hidden Injuries of Class illuminates a clear manifestation of this accumulation, the carelessness and lies that plague Americans as a result of pride, self-justification, or the like. For the first time in a new age of America, social evils are spilling over the rim where the slightest mishap travels as fast as the eye can see and is felt as obstructive as a cork in the hole. The overwhelming feeling of paralysis or stagnancy is dealt with by denial or depression, and even if a few jewels of a leader are found to be embracing the tumultuous snowballing of a problem, Americans are found picking up the pieces, struggling to produce, once again, an ideal state. The issue at hand, however, is not a particular class or social group, but an attitude of giving up. In other words, people are obviously bitter and resentful for such a chaotic time as this, but their pessimism is not helping. Their belief that the core of a human being is to be ravenous is not only indignant of itself, but also self-destructive. Maybe people want to end their lives for their belief of a lack of hope, but what then is made of a prevailing desire to see improvements? What is the self in control of more than the self?

The hostility in the world is present, but evil can and is overcome with good. Pursuing individual knowledge is a noble goal, but only as a tool for nurturing society, not in the way of personal gain, but personal fulfillment in seeing others benefit from one’s own work. True satisfaction is not isolating oneself to become the best, but reconciling with the community a ground for cooperative engagement in idealism, or the pursuit of relinquishing evil for good.   

Sparkling New Days

Untouched. The day is fresh and scented with the natural fragrance of green grass and the syrup from tree barks. How splendid is the morning, when the sun beckons you to rise and live for the Lord! May He be with you today, and everyday! May He continue to surround you with people He knows will bring you GOOD in the end! May YOU lift up your Spirit in PRAISE for the days are new and so are His mercies. So are the riches of His glory that carry you to great heights! Dwell among the believers in one body, never giving yourself to the seat of judgment, but be pure and blameless before the King. HE is worthy to be FEARED. For His Power is Great, and His Might is Strong. May nature wash us of our old haze, refresh our sense, and make us delight in God's creation. May He find pleasure in our works, for He is able to make anything possible! :)

In Jesus' Name, I Pray,

Amen.

On Being Human - Erich Fromm

I come across, once again, a book I was required to read an excerpt from called, On Being Human, written by the philosopher and psychoanalyst, Erich Fromm. It was sitting on my bookshelf for some time, and I decided to re-read what I had underlined during my freshman year at MICA for a class called Critical Inquiry. I read a few pages, and I was deeply impressed with some profound remarks made by Fromm, but most importantly, I am taken aback by the meaning, application, and relatedness of his thoughts on page. I decided to google him and his work on the Internet, considering there are usually supplements or other online, written work about his work. I stumbled upon a series of interview clips published in 2007, although I have reason to believe based on the grain and quality of the film that it is from a much former period of time, maybe the early or mid 1900s. However, On Being Human is Copyrighted in 1994, and reprinted in 2005. Therefore, this interview is very substantial concerning our current time period, and age. I highly recommend delving into his work, as it has the capacity to stimulate a higher echelon of human thinking we, I believe, burry at times to cope with the mundane or ordinary life that is an illusion of our making. Therefore, jump in: The Interview is continued through 4 clips; the first clip is provided, the others are on the right-hand side navigation column on YouTube. Enjoy! And I hope you gain insight and start to work your human capacity to exercise knowledge more as a being and not merely one who possesses. 

You Are Beautiful

Music: Beautiful by MercyMe

No matter what happens, who you think you are, who other people think you are, God thinks you are beautiful! Beauty is discovered. You have to have eyes to see the glory of God's creation, of which you are most magnificent. God's beauty is reveled in when you close your eyes, imagine His great, surpassing glory overcoming all that you are. Just bask in His glory. The radiance of his glory surpasses any inkling of comfort the rays of sunshine can give you. His beauty is in the pure white robes that fill the temple. His majesty... is a flood. Hail to the King who is most worthy to be Praised!
Amen. 

Growing Up: Teenage Life

Just when you think you know something for sure, you realize you don't know everything at all. You hit the ceiling of your high, and your confidence turns back into porridge, sloshing around in the core of your body again. Teenage life -- How badly do we want to rest our sureness in something we have newly learned? Like driving a new car, a new experience that eventually turns numb with time, we want to be considered an expert already. You usually think you are when you think you have adopted an array of new driving skills. However, the constraint of time and experience has a way of revealing our inner pride, one we might have mistook for confidence.

We do not know who we are yet -- we only know a little bit. Although we know how ugly we once was, or are, we have yet to see beauty flourish. Will I ever be satisfied? No, not for a sustained time. Will I ever settle down? No, though physically we may live in a house for a short time, we will never be at home until we go to Heaven.

The teenage life is difficult, because we are constantly looking for answers. We realize, though, that not every question will have an answer. We have to deal with these uncertainties that seem to shadow parts of our life, if not loom over it altogether. Yet, you identify yourself to be a Christian. You know that shadows imply that something is blocking the light from the outside -- the light source must surround you in order for a shadow to be cast on your body, or your perception of life. It's hard to find your way in the dark. However, as followers of Christ, the light source is from within. We are the light of the light of the world -- Jesus is our lamp. That lamp is untouchable. We may feel suffocating under the weight of the unknown, but light penetrates darkness and we can breathe on our own.

The amazing cross, on which Christ died for all, covers every generation before and after the current one we are in. The power of the cross is marvelous. It overcomes all darkness: that no trace of the night is ever too dark for God -- that any star in the sky can never math His purity.