First, I can't withhold good from another person.
Second, I've been cleaning, tidying, and organizing all day, but when it comes down to going to sleep, I must examine my heart.
This time, I'm pretty sure I want to disclose some things:
I renounced God (not the existence of Him, but His authority over my life) about a year ago, maybe two. I was bitter and angry at Him for keeping me His slave. At the time, I felt friendless, lonely, and both misunderstood and not understood.
Over the following weeks, that extended through months, I lived in darkness. It was not only terrifying, but also like fire, burning everything unnecessary until all that remained was God again. I felt God watching me from afar, but by His grace, He gradually brought me back into light.
There is no doubt in my mind that the things I went through in darkness completely drained me. Therefore, I became weak, tired all the time, and everything was all too much for me to micro-manage anymore.
Now, this very moment, I ask that if you are a brother or sister in Christ, that you would pray for me to surrender all I am to God, again, because I feel like there are areas in my heart that refuse to be vulnerable to God again, even though, I'm sure, God can see those parts. If those areas I refuse to give up are wounds, I ask that you can intercede so that God can heal me and make me strong, so that I can serve Him, again (I thank you, in advance, if you pray for me!).
Second, I've been cleaning, tidying, and organizing all day, but when it comes down to going to sleep, I must examine my heart.
This time, I'm pretty sure I want to disclose some things:
I renounced God (not the existence of Him, but His authority over my life) about a year ago, maybe two. I was bitter and angry at Him for keeping me His slave. At the time, I felt friendless, lonely, and both misunderstood and not understood.
Over the following weeks, that extended through months, I lived in darkness. It was not only terrifying, but also like fire, burning everything unnecessary until all that remained was God again. I felt God watching me from afar, but by His grace, He gradually brought me back into light.
There is no doubt in my mind that the things I went through in darkness completely drained me. Therefore, I became weak, tired all the time, and everything was all too much for me to micro-manage anymore.
Now, this very moment, I ask that if you are a brother or sister in Christ, that you would pray for me to surrender all I am to God, again, because I feel like there are areas in my heart that refuse to be vulnerable to God again, even though, I'm sure, God can see those parts. If those areas I refuse to give up are wounds, I ask that you can intercede so that God can heal me and make me strong, so that I can serve Him, again (I thank you, in advance, if you pray for me!).
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